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Understanding the Mental Load of Motherhood and How to Manage It

  • Writer: Anker Psychology
    Anker Psychology
  • Nov 25
  • 3 min read

Motherhood brings joy and challenges, but one of the most overlooked struggles is the mental load of motherhood. This invisible burden affects countless women daily, often leading to emotional overload and burnout. Understanding this mental load and learning how to manage it can improve women’s mental health and help overwhelmed mums find balance.


Eye-level view of a mother sitting at a kitchen table surrounded by notes and a laptop
A mother managing household tasks and work responsibilities

What Is the Mental Load of Motherhood?


The mental load of motherhood refers to the constant cognitive effort mothers invest in managing family life. It includes planning, organizing, remembering, and anticipating needs—tasks often invisible to others. This is sometimes called invisible labour or emotional labour, as it involves managing not only physical tasks but also the emotional wellbeing of the family.


For example, a mother might keep track of doctor appointments, school events, meal planning, and household chores, all while supporting her children’s emotional needs. This ongoing mental juggling can create significant motherhood stress and contribute to mum overwhelm.


Why Does the Mental Load Matter?


The mental load affects working mothers’ mental health especially. Juggling motherhood and work means many women carry this cognitive load both at home and in their careers. This double responsibility can lead to burnout in mothers, characterized by exhaustion, irritability, and feelings of being overwhelmed.


Research in mental load psychology shows that this constant mental effort can increase stress hormones and reduce overall wellbeing. Without proper support, mothers may experience emotional overload, which impacts their ability to care for themselves and their families.


Signs of Mum Burnout and Emotional Overload


Recognizing burnout and emotional overload early is crucial. Some common signs include:


  • Feeling constantly tired despite rest

  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

  • Increased irritability or mood swings

  • Feeling detached or guilty about parenting

  • Physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues


If these signs persist, seeking mental health support for mums can make a significant difference.


Practical Strategies to Manage the Mental Load


Managing the mental load requires both practical changes and emotional support. Here are some strategies that can help:


Share the Invisible Labour


Often, the mental load falls disproportionately on mothers. Sharing responsibilities with partners or other family members can lighten this burden. This includes:


  • Dividing household tasks fairly

  • Sharing planning and scheduling duties

  • Communicating openly about needs and limits


Use Tools to Organize Tasks


Technology can help reduce cognitive load. Using shared calendars, reminder apps, or family task lists can keep everyone informed and reduce the mental effort on one person.


Prioritize Self-Care and Boundaries


Mothers need time for themselves to recharge. Setting boundaries around work and parenting time helps prevent burnout. Simple self-care activities like short walks, meditation, or hobbies can improve mental health.


Seek Professional Support


Sometimes, the mental load leads to deeper emotional challenges. Consulting a psychologist for mothers or accessing online therapy for mums can provide tailored support. In Australia, telehealth psychologist Australia services offer convenient access to mental health professionals.


Stress Management Techniques


Learning stress management techniques can reduce the impact of motherhood stress. These include:


  • Mindfulness and breathing exercises

  • Physical activity tailored to busy schedules

  • Connecting with other mums for social support


The Role of Society and Employers


Addressing the mental load of motherhood is not just an individual task. Society and workplaces play a role in supporting mothers:


  • Flexible work arrangements help reduce pressure on working mothers.

  • Public awareness campaigns can highlight the importance of parenting mental health.

  • Access to affordable childcare and mental health services supports family wellbeing.


Employers who understand the challenges of juggling motherhood and work can create more supportive environments, improving outcomes for both mothers and their children.


Close-up of a calendar with family appointments and reminders highlighted
A calendar showing family appointments and reminders to manage mental load

Supporting Overwhelmed Mums


If you are an overwhelmed mum, remember you are not alone. Many women face the mental load of motherhood daily. Seeking mum burnout support can be a vital step toward regaining balance. Whether through community groups, professional counselling, or online resources, help is available.


Encouraging open conversations about the mental load can reduce stigma and empower mothers to ask for support. Friends and family can also play a role by offering practical help and emotional understanding.


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